Jesus Paid Enough
by Trudie Schar
This person had done so much to ruin me that I didn’t know if I had it in my heart to forgive. Over the previous months, I had gone through many messy steps to try to attain healing.
It had begun with realizing this feeling of anger that I noticed in my life stemmed from unforgiveness. Realizing this was certainly my first battle. I wanted to run, I didn’t want to face the hard reality. I just wanted to stuff it back down inside and not deal with it.
After digging into the Word, I realized the severity of unforgiveness. I read things such as,
“Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”[i]
“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Yet it didn’t sink in. Yes, I wanted God to forgive me my many sins. However, I wasn’t the one who needed forgiveness at this exact moment, rather I needed to extend forgiveness.
I pleaded with God to show me how to forgive.
I went through a stage of grieving. Grieving for my loss. Grieving for the sin of unforgiveness in my life. Grieving for the years I had spent building this hatred and bitterness.
I journaled a lot. I wrote down my feelings of guilt, shame, confusion, and pain. I wrote down every single thing this person did. God brought many things to my memory as I did this exercise, and I got it all out on paper. It felt good in an angry sort of way, as if I was writing a list of someone's counts against them, condemning them, piling heaps on them higher and higher. But it also felt so freeing. Instead of holding it in, I was able to get it out in the open.
I got professional, Biblical counseling. I read many, many books. I dealt with a lot of ugly, hurtful, sad feelings. However, forgiveness continued to elude me.
God had laid on my heart a date by which I expected to have healing, but I still wrestled with this forgiving thing.
I was less than one week from that date on my calendar and still nothing. That afternoon after church, I was thinking about the messages from the day.
I had a conversation with myself. “Has this person done me wrong? Yes, certainly, he owes me.”
I continued this conversation and asked myself, “What would repay the debt this person owes me?” $10,000? A house? New car?
The Holy Spirit brought this beautiful picture to my mind. I was sitting in a courtroom. The person who had wronged me was sitting on the opposite side. God was sitting before us in the judge's seat. It was just the three of us.
God looked at the list of wrongs. He knew everything. Yes, it was clear that this person was guilty. The judge brought the gavel down and the sentence was guilty. He was about to give out a sentence: 10 years jail time without parole… $10,000... I wasn’t sure of the punishment.
At the back of the courtroom the door opened. Jesus walked down the long and quiet aisle. He walked up to the judge and asked if He could have a word. He said, “What does the guilty one owe? I will pay this debt. I will pay all of it.”
The judge asked me, “Is that enough? Do you accept the payment of this man, Jesus? Do you accept His payment for full reimbursement for all you were wronged? Is His payment enough?”
I had to say, “Yes, Jesus, You paid enough.”
Jesus. He had paid the debt in full. He gave His entire life to pay the debt for the guilty. His life offering was more than enough!
“And just as each person is destined to die once and after that comes judgment, so also Christ was offered once for all time as a sacrifice to take away the sins of many people. He will come again, not to deal with our sins, but to bring salvation to all who are eagerly waiting for him.”
Friend, this Jesus wants to meet you in the courtroom today. He wants to offer the same to you. He wants to pay all of the debts that others owe you. He gave his entire life for those debts. He has already paid them. Whether the person who wronged you has admitted his sin or not. Whether the person who wronged you wants your forgiveness or not. Jesus walks up and offers his payment. The judge asks you, “Did Jesus pay enough?”
When you accept His payment as enough, you will find freedom. You will find forgiveness.
Friend, I pray you walk away from the courtroom whispering, “Jesus paid enough.”
[i] Hebrews 9:27-28 NIV
[i] Matthew 6:14-15 KJV
[i] Matthew 6:12 KJV